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Ryan McDade
@wander_into_focus
Landscape photographer based in the US
Ever since I was a child, my mother collected National Geographic Magazine. It was one of her several ways of surrounding herself with nature and showed her love of this earth. Throughout my childhood, I would look through those pages, see those incredible images of far-off places, read those stories, and dream. I always related with the person telling the story, the person on the adventure, taking those pictures.
"We did not have a lot of money growing up, and thus, travel was never really an option for my family."
The first trip I ever took out of my home state of California was to Washington DC when I was 16 years old. I had one of those small, yellow disposable cameras for the trip. When we arrived at Arlington National Cemetery, I remember seeing the US Marine Memorial, which is a statue of several marines, raising a flag together during World War II on the island of Iwo Jima. It is an iconic and powerful image, and when I saw it in person, it took me. As my family waited, I continued to circle the statue, searching for a way to express the power of what I felt. I even laid flat on the ground, in front of dozens of onlookers, as I took my shots with my disposable camera. From that moment on…I knew I was in love with photography. For the rest of the trip, I kept thinking about those images and how they would turn out. Unfortunately, those negatives were exposed due to the camera cracking during our flight home, so I never saw those images. It didn’t matter…I was hooked.
During my next year of high school, I would consistently find ways to get out of my classes so that I could go visit my friends who were taking photography class (the photography teacher was very nice and would just let me hang out in his class even though I wasn’t enrolled). I would help my friends in the darkroom as they engaged in the magic of bringing their photos to life. And I would be around those friends after school while they took photos for homework. I didn’t have a camera – I was just fascinated. My family didn’t have the means to purchase a “real” camera, so for the remainder of high school and all of University, I shot images on disposable cameras whenever and wherever I could. I was fortunate enough to travel to the Hawaiian islands several times towards the end of high school and in my early 20’s, and I began my collection of developed 4×6 prints in a photo album I still own today; all shot on disposable cameras on my travels to the islands.
I didn’t want to allow my passion for photography and my desire to travel this earth to remain just a dream any longer. I knew I needed to start making it my reality. I finally took the leap: A month-long solo trip to Thailand and Cambodia awoke my wanderlust and created a thirst for adventure and travel photography that has only grown since. The trip was everything I could have hoped for, and my eagerness and passion for landscape and travel photography were at an all-time high. That trip created momentum and confidence that the life I wanted to live wasn’t just a fairy tale…it could be a reality. But only if I put in the hard work and prioritized it.
However, I did encounter a problem in Thailand that was unavoidable. While I realized I had an eye and passion for photography, I didn’t have real working knowledge or skill of how to use a camera, nor did I have the appropriate equipment. I had used point-and-shoot cameras for most of my life and was guided almost entirely by intuition when it came to successful shots. During my trip to Thailand, I had an iPhone 7 and a Canon EOS Rebel XT. I only knew how to use the auto settings and “cheat settings” on the Canon, and I would rely heavily on the iPhone in any tricky situations that created uncertainty with the Canon. My lack of skill was apparent to me now.
"In 2018, I began taking solo trips across the American Southwest, to visit places I had always wanted to travel to."
I began using my camera more to try and strengthen my noticeable shortcomings. I would speak to anyone I knew who could answer the dozens of questions I had, about editing, settings, using filters, etc. My brother and sister-in-law were both huge supporters of my journey and continued to share information they had learned to help facilitate my growth and understanding. My partner Destiny also provided so much in the form of encouragement, ideas, modeling for my shots, and her wonderful supportive and critical feedback as I progressed. Over time, I began to realize the noticeable truth that my thirst for knowledge and skill in photography was never going to be quenched.
"It would be a lifelong endeavor and I knew then that I needed to take a massive leap of faith… Faith, fortitude, and financial investment."
Since 2019, I have been making photography a life priority. I have taken two separate week-long workshops to build my composition and post-processing skills and take my photography to another level entirely. I have completely overhauled my equipment including camera, lenses, tripods, travel bags, weatherproofing all of my gear and wardrobe. I have learned to sacrifice sleep to chase the milky way and astrophotography conditions at night, only to wake up or forgo sleep entirely to capture the sunrise. I continue to make traveling both nationally and internationally a major life priority.
As many wise figures and authors have expressed, to travel is to build wisdom. I am a seeker of wisdom in this life. I am also trying to document and report my experiences and lessons learned through my photography. I am yearning to fulfill the desire of that young child, dreaming of those far-off places while viewing those national geographic magazines. It is a dream of mine to one day work for, and/or be featured in National Geographic. That is THE DREAM… To be out on expeditions and adventures and to be hired as a photographer to assist in the documentation of those adventures. Someday I hope…
PURSUING
A DREAM
Meanwhile, and aside from photography, I have been a mental health therapist for the past 12 years and I have had my license to practice independently for 8 years. I have a private practice where I specialize as a trauma therapist, working with people who suffer from severe anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. I love doing this work, and I find it to be incredibly powerful and rewarding.
The work is also incredibly humbling. Learning in-depth about the lives of others, truly helps you to gain perspective of the depths and difficulties others face in this world. I believe I have the opportunity to make a positive impact on people’s lives every day, and that is incredibly important to me. I feel that in helping others, by easing their suffering or by helping them to be the best version of themselves, I am fulfilling an obligation to my community, and the world. In the most basic way, I believe that kindness and empathy are sorely lacking in this world, and I want to be a part of a solution in a meaningful and long-lasting way.
"At the same time, therapy is an intense job to do every day and necessitates significant self-care and balance."
Because I now own my business, I have been able to create an environment that allows for my travel and photography passions to also be a priority. I see my work as a therapist and my work as a photographer as a yin-yang. They are interconnected by their similarities of passion, creativity, balance, self-care, unique expression, and finding beauty to hold up and share in this world. They both humble me and leave me with a sense of gratitude that is essential to my life. Yet they stand in stark contrast to one another in that therapy is my “day job” that keeps me grounded, rooted in one place, focused on my community, and financially stable. Photography is my “dream job”, my vacation, my escape, my connection to my spirituality and worldly/universal focus, my adventure, and my wanderlust, all wrapped up together.
Every time I return from a photography trip/shoot, I am blown away at how impressive and expressive this earth is, and how important it should be to all of us. In sharing the images I capture, I hope that it continues to be a reminder to others of the beauty this planet has to offer. Perhaps it is someone grinding away at their day jobs and bogged down in city life, or perhaps someone who doesn’t have the means to travel but dreams of faraway or beautiful places; or maybe someone who is struggling with unhappiness in their lives and needs that spark to ignite their desire to take a chance and make changes and to seek out the life they actually desire… I want to show these people that these places actually exist… That the world is really THAT amazing, brilliant, beautiful, and spectacular.
"Even these places that have been discovered before, still have the power and magnificence to steal our breath away."
It is in this truth, where I find hope. For example, the moment I walked into Angkor Wat, seeing and feeling the history, overwhelmed me with emotion; Witnessing the Northern Lights in Iceland, watching the sky dance, took my breath away and led to tears; Watching the clouds move over the island of Kauai in the night sky, creating that overwhelming feeling of knowing you are right in the center of the largest ocean on the planet; Visiting the Oregon Coast and hiking to some of the most unreal stretches of coastline I’ve ever seen… All of these were dreams made into reality. All of them humbled me. They all made me feel alive and so grateful to be so.
I had seen photos from these places before. They weren’t new. They had been discovered long ago and shared thousands or even millions of times on social media before I arrived. I didn’t get there first. I didn’t come away from these places with some new composition/photo that nobody else had taken before. That wasn’t the point. I wasn’t there to “get the shot” or “reinvent the shot”. I was there to experience the beauty that this earth has to offer, and in each instance, it changed me for the better.
I hear a lot of complaints about Instagram and how it has begun to steal the magic away from these places. With regard to Eco-tourism, many of these complaints are valid in that people are traveling and not showing the appropriate respect to the environments they are visiting, and therefore are harming those environments. I share in the anger and frustration of this problem. On the other hand, within the photography community, all of the sudden taking an iconic picture in front of Skogafoss is seen as having a lack of creativity. There is a lot of pressure now to tell the story in a different way and to be unique. I understand this mindset, but I also have to question it. If we are just chasing shots, whether it’s the same shot you’ve seen and are just taking it to replicate something you’ve seen others produce, or you are out to do something unique, I feel it should still derive from an authentic experience in that place.
"There should be some kind of story that you’re telling about your experience in that place, and the expression of that place while you were there."
"What I try to say is that, although these places had already been discovered, captured, and shared thousands or even millions of times before I got the chance to experience them…each of them still took my breath away and stirred my spirit."
Each of them inspired my imagination and sparked the inspiration of that kid looking at those National Geographics. Each of these places exceeded my expectations of the experience because I wasn’t there to “get the shot”. Nor was I there to “reinvent the shot”. I was there to experience that place, and any noteworthy photos came as a byproduct of an authentic experience in that place. The premise of that mindset is what gives me hope that although these places had been discovered way before I arrived, the power of these places made me feel like I was an explorer finding them for the first time… These places reminded me that the beauty and magnificence of this earth will always be more powerful than any image of it – The experience is what drives the storytelling, not the other way around.
I am often so carried away when I’m out on a shoot. I feel like a giddy little kid, running around and exploring and searching for that connection to a place. It’s often exhilarating, intoxicating, and to be honest, I’m sure I can be a bit frenetic. Thoughts change with the light movements, and as the scene shifts, I’m changing lenses and zeroed in on the part of the story I’m feeling connected with at that moment. Zooming into 400mm with a telephoto…switch it up and go wide open at 16mm…finding the in-between and change to a 24-70mm. Checking histograms. Adjusting aperture and shutter speed and manual focus versus autofocus. Questioning if it’s time to take my polarizer off in the blue hour… It’s consuming, and it can feel like a whirlwind of emotions, excitement, intrigue, curiosity, and gratitude.
"There are definitely moments where I stop and really try to absorb it all without the camera, but that is like coming up for a breath of air, and then I dive back under for more. The light doesn’t wait for long!"
When I am facing a vast landscape, as the lighting shifts and I’m exploring that moment, I am chasing inspiration hoping to witness that scene to express itself. That expression tells a story unique to this place, unique to that moment. Then I seek out compositions and do my best to prepare for the story to be told and understand what I want to bring to it. For me, this is usually more of a gut feeling and instinct/intuition than a fully thought-out process, but it varies. Regardless of what the plan is, the truth is that those plans might have to change quickly depending on what happens.
"So the goal is always to try and remain flexible and adapt. In the end, I’m just a spectator, waiting for the show, and as it unfolds, I try to adapt as quickly as I can to get on the same page."
When I’m alone, there are no distractions from pure and genuine creativity that is authentic and unique to what I am witnessing and responding to at that moment. When I’m alone, I am purely seeking, chasing, and responding to that inspiration. When I’m with others, that inspiration is a shared experience and that is different but can be just as amazing. Others, including my partner Destiny, have sparked and shared amazing ideas for composition and adventure, and often see that story unfolding differently. They often tune into and focus on different details that I’m missing because I’m locked in on something else. This can truly expand the experience. It is not so much that I prefer to be alone, but when I am alone, there is a purity to the creative process that always feels a bit different.
"What I find to be so great about photography is that there is a more complete story told after, when I get a chance to look and reflect upon my images and I complete the full story in my head."
It helps me to believe that what I experienced actually happened because sometimes it honestly doesn’t feel real. I get overwhelmed all over again with a rush of gratitude and appreciation when I review these experiences, and I find different layers of the story I was telling over time – two days; two weeks; two months; two years later. I find something different when I go back and reconnect to what I witnessed at that moment.
When I’m in post-production, my goal is to accentuate the aspects of that photo that are interesting to me and that I most want to share. My goal becomes to clear out the noise and draw the viewers’ eye to where I want them to be focused, and limit the distractions. Sometimes that single object in the frame is like a waterfall. Sometimes, it’s more abstract. For example, I may want the viewer to be focused on the color and vibrance of an image (fall colors, sunsets), and my efforts to draw the eye are more of a journey through the image, rather than on a single subject. I try to do my best with composition to make my life easier in post-production, but sometimes we are limited by time, situation, or environment. My goal in post-production is to do my best to make up for those shortcomings and end up with an image that has impact, that makes me feel something, and that represents the story I feel was told.
"My usual workflow is to start in Lightroom, move to Photoshop for some subtle adjustments, and then back to Lightroom to finish."
I can say that working with some amazing photographers and accessing workshops has really propelled my growth and understanding of my craft, and particularly, my post-processing skills. I don’t know how long it would’ve taken me to learn what these workshops have taught me…nor am I certain I would have ever learned it all. If you are a young photographer looking to take a large step, or even an established photographer but need a jolt of inspiration and novelty, I highly encourage taking a workshop with photographers you admire and support your local artists in the process. I worked with PhotoRoamers and they were phenomenal and really helped me turn my eye for photography into a well-rounded understanding of my craft. Following my first workshop with Kenny and Ryan, my photography skills increased exponentially. With increased skill came increased desire to sacrifice sleep and money to chase this dream even further.
"Less technical but not less important, my mother and her fascination with nature had an early and powerful impact as well on my vision and approach as a landscape photographer."
I would also say that by growing up in Southern California and being fortunate enough to spend my youth playing in the Pacific Ocean, I was able to develop an understanding and spirituality connected to the vastness of nature. For me growing up, it was all about the Pacific Ocean. That was my sanctuary and spiritual connection to nature…that was my church. It still is. Destiny and I make a point to visit the ocean regularly to surf and connect with that incredible energy to this day. Significant life changes have also made their impact. Losing a father to alcoholism; my divorce from my ex-wife; are examples of shifts to my life that taught me how precious and how delicate this life can be. These losses taught me to not waste time. We only get this one chance and I want to make the most of it.
When I traveled alone in Asia, it wasn’t all easy and magical. It was at times, lonely, uncomfortable and an emotional/physical/mental grind. Sometimes when you find yourself alone, it makes space for you to truly see how vast this world can be. I began to realize I still had a lot to learn about myself and who I wanted to be. I believe that I needed to learn how to feel comfortable being alone in this world, to really understand what I actually wanted out of life. I discovered that solitude helps my soul tap back into my divine purpose, and it’s been during these years of discovery that I learned what divine purpose meant to me.
I spent much of my youth desiring and prioritizing connection to friends and romantic relationships. I saw much of my worth as a reflection of how many people loved me. I would fast forward to the end of my life and visualize my funeral and hope that so many people were there to mourn my loss and say goodbye. I was under the impression that the number of people who cared about me represented my value. Thus, I spent much of my adult life compromising my goals/dreams and not being honest about what I really wanted as a way to maintain those relationships, believing that was the right path for me to follow. I wasn’t content in my life because my life wasn’t actually in alignment with who I wanted/needed to be. Thus, that life crumbled and fell apart. I think it took me breaking free from all of it, traveling across the world to stand alone on another continent, feeling lost in a foreign land, to find myself again, and to develop the courage to dedicate myself to go after my dreams.
In my personal spiritual understanding, I feel that when we are able to develop a harmony between the lives we dream of, and the lives we are actually living, we are aligning ourselves with a divine purpose. That purpose places us where we need to be in the world. It could be for only a moment or a lifetime, as our divine purpose could very well be unknown to us…but I have faith that if we are following our genuine dreams and in alignment with the kind of person we want to be in this world, we are where we need to be.
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