© 2020 Nomadict. All rights reserved.
One day I woke up. A thought hit me during a meditation, realizing that I’ll be simply gone at some point in life. I’ll disappear with time.
But, if I leave something behind me, I’ll live forever. Who doesn’t want to live forever?
The next day I woke up at 4 am, grabbed my camera and walked 4 miles from where I lived in the US to the beach that faces the Atlantic ocean. It was February 2020, cold and windy. I could barely move my arms as I had several layers of clothes on me.
When I arrived, it was only me and the ocean for 20 minutes until the sun started to rise. I felt so alive, I felt like I could do everything, I could be everyone I wanted to be. When the sun came up, I took one picture. And then another, and another. And oh wow, I loved it. I loved the feeling of waking up early, walking 4 miles, then walking them back again and going to work afterwards – just for a couple of pictures. But those pictures meant so much to me. They will be here forever. And maybe that day I knew that I wanna know more, do more, be more. I knew that I would chase those sunrises from all over the world. Traveling makes every moment worth it and photography makes it everlasting.
The picture I took that day, two weeks before the world shut down, is still my favorite. Just like that beach is still my favorite place on Earth. And it’s a simple beach; nothing special, just the sand and the ocean. But it was so cold, so early, so far away…And so rewarding. I set my goals there on that beach. I spent many other mornings at that place before moving back to Bulgaria, just gazing at the ocean thinking that I had to leave the place I loved the most. I’ve left many places before but this one was the hardest. We all cherish the place we felt like home. This one was mine. I found a big piece of myself over there and brought it back here.
My life in the US changed me. Before that, I was very lost and had no purpose in life. I came from a poor family; my parents were away almost all the time and I had to raise myself. That kind of life made me very independent at an early age. We also moved a lot. I guess the constant change in my life and moving from one place to another made me the person I am today. And once I was by myself, I kept moving around. From 18 till 22 years old I lived in three different cities on my own and visited a few countries.
In the summer of 2018 I applied for a US visa, and I was approved. I found myself at a beautiful place named Cape Cod, Massachusetts. The Cape extends into the Atlantic Ocean. 15 towns, one big road, and nature. Just nature. I fell in love with this place. I fell in love with the feeling of being so close to nature. I found something there that was missing. And this time I just couldn’t leave. I wouldn’t want to. I had to stay, and find a purpose.
I worked in a restaurant for a hard working family. The owner of the restaurant told me she always wanted to have her own restaurant, a family and a house and that you cannot have what you want if you don’t prove to yourself you are worthy of having it. A month after that, I bought a camera. I finally could afford it, and I spent the whole night looking at YouTube videos on how to work with the camera – I didn’t want to shoot in auto mode.
As it was a dream of mine to be able to capture the Milky Way, I bought a tripod. I watched hundreds of videos before and I thought I was ready. But I wasn’t. I found the perfect spot, placed the camera on the tripod, faced the camera to the sky, pushed the button, the shutter closed and I waited for 20 sec. I got on my knees to look at the screen for the final result. And like I said – I wasn’t ready. My heart almost jumped from my chest. I couldn’t believe that I took that picture. You could see all the stars and galaxies. I was so grateful. I said like 10 times “thank you” to my camera. I felt like a child finding out something new and exciting about life.
After that I spend at least one hour of my day taking pictures, experimenting with my camera, watching YouTube videos about photography, and falling in love with other photographers’ work. My love for photography helped me be consistent and showed me that part of myself I never knew I had.
I had made so many trips, lived in different places, but that one trip to the US changed my life.
I came back from the US because I felt that photography is something I want to focus on, and to put my heart in that. I came back to look for new stories, to look for other parts of myself in new places and through other people’s vision. I came back to hear stories, witness emotions and moments in time of other people, to make them eternal. As every photographer, I take pictures to say something. I try to inspire people to go out there and experience life. I know how difficult it is to wake up at 4 am to catch the sunrise or how tired you are after two or three hours of walking in the mountains. But I also know that feeling alive and grounded is way better than just surviving the day and killing the time in the bar. Comfort zone is tempting.
When I share a photo on social media I write a little story sometimes. I talk about difficult moments from my childhood that turned into a life lesson. I try to motivate people to not give up no matter the circumstances they are in. The pain is temporary. Nothing in our life is happening to us, it’s always happening for us. To make us who we are today. After I opened up in my post I received many messages from people, sharing their difficulties with me. I see myself in all of them, and I just listen. I understand they need to be heard. In order for them to find some space in their mind and switch their focus.
I know everyone has that one thing in their life that they are passionate about. You don’t know why but you are. And the only advice I have is no matter what you are going through, keep your focus on yourself. Practice your passion, whatever it is, and start small and grow big. Photography is my passion, my journey.
I lost motivation sometimes. I experienced self-doubt quite often. I felt afraid regularly. Am I good enough? Why am I doing this? I was somehow disappointed by how I am affected by these emotions. I know motivation comes and goes like a roller coaster. And when it goes, I am the only person who can find it back again. For these moments, I found myself a goal: I’ll spend the evening on the beach. I’ll grab my camera and will come back with my motivation.
Sometimes, I don’t come back with motivation – But with sand in my shoes and many pictures of how different people had gathered to watch the sunset and enjoy their life. Then I realize I do the same thing – enjoying my life. My heart chose this, photography. And it makes me feel happy and with purpose. One day when I went to the beach in search of that feeling after a drop in my mood, I had a little mirror in my bag. I took it out, stuck it in the sand and took a simple and yet so cool picture of the reflection of the ocean. To this day I love that photo. Let’s say my motivation is my light.
Within that tunnel, you will encounter different “emergency” exits that can help you find out new things. My first product photography project opened a new world for me. It was for a Kombucha drink back in the US. I did some research, learned many new skills. Before that I never knew I had a love for the details. That one project opened a new door for me and I am leaving that door open for sure. I truly enjoyed it.
But another trip closed a door in photography, for now. It was a trip to New York. As almost every photographer I was curious about every depth of photography, and street photography was one of these. I thought to myself that NY is perfect for that. A friend of mine was going to visit his family and I joined him in the big apple. I went there with big expectations. I was wandering around the city with my camera for hours and I had absolutely nothing. I took so many pictures and honestly didn’t like any of them. Big cities don’t inspire me, they never did, and maybe that’s why I didn’t feel anything while shooting and therefore I didn’t like any of my pictures. But one thing did excite me a lot. We ended the day with a helicopter flight over the city. The city was much more beautiful from above… A week after I bought a drone.
I also experiment a lot with a lens ball, my phone or a mirror to show a different perspective. And I also tried portrait photography. I truly enjoy that style too, but nothing makes my heart beat like landscape/nature photography. There is always something new you can learn in photography and I guess nature itself inspires me and it pushes my creativity the most. Rarely do I feel inspired in the city or behind four walls – My soul feels free out there. It’s like home.
When I edit a photo I want to show what this place gave me and how I felt. So before I start, I focus on that feeling. Let’s take the example of the photo from Cape Agalina.
I got rid of the blue sunny sky because that’s not what I want people to look at. A blue sunny sky won’t give me the vibe I am looking for. It’s important to remove or lower the saturation of the distractions. This way people will know what they should be looking at. So after that I deepened the brown and the green – the rocks and nature. And the final thing was the water.
After I think I finished, I don’t look at the photo for a couple of hours. I just leave that photo “to rest” a little bit. It’s a golden rule. I come back to the picture after that and if it still gives me the feeling I want to share with the people, if it matches my feelings I had in reality and those that come back when thinking back, it’s perfect. But sometimes this is not the case and I would come back to this picture after a week or so.
These days, I am exploring the nature of my home country Bulgaria – and finding new pieces of myself as a person and as an artist. Bulgaria isn’t a popular place for landscape photography, and I wonder why. It’s so different out there, so natural. Bulgaria has an incredible geography to offer: many wild rivers, waterfalls, lakes, wild beaches with rocky formations… Unfortunately, some of those beaches get destroyed because of tourism, despite being protected sites. That’s the reason why I decided to spend my summer exploring the Bulgarian mountains, but I cannot wait for the tourism season to be over because one of my favorite places is a little wild beach called Pasha Dere. It’s the best place to gather with friends, light a campfire and enjoy life.
But this summer, for now, it’s all about the mountains. Last week we visited the Rila mountain, it’s the highest mountain in Southeast Europe. I set a goal to climb the highest peak, Musala, of 2925 m. Also, in Rila there are a group of seven lakes formed one above the other and are connected by small streams, which form waterfalls. It’s absolutely stunning.
All of this sounds like nonsense to many, but till this day people gather at the holy place to watch or participate in the spiritual rituals of the Universal White Brotherhood. This is a religious movement founded in Bulgaria in the early 20th century, where Universal refers to expanding concepts about life beheld by more than one person or one group, where White refers to the highest spiritual symbol, which is the synthesis of all colors, and where Brotherhood aims for inclusivity and community.
The only thing I can say is that the energy flow up there is unique. I truly enjoy exploring the mountains and encountering some Bulgarian travel photographers, chasing the sunrise (or the bad weather). Some of them lived in different countries like me, came back and turned into photographers also. I follow the work of several photographers; I see how they grow in time. It’s amazing following someone’s work from the time they were just beginners. I admire every Bulgarian photographer, and try to support them however I can.
And if we apply that to ourselves too, allow ourselves to evolve, change, do something new, fail… all while following what our heart tells us to do at that moment in time, we can turn life into our passion.
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© 2020 Nomadict. All rights reserved.