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I grew up in rural New Hampshire, skating on frozen ponds in winter and baking apple pies in fall. We traveled as a family when I was younger – to Glacier National Park, the Jungles of Central America, and the beautiful Mediterranean coastlines in Italy and Greece. But, it wasn’t until I took a job in Sydney during an off-term at school and experienced another place without the comfort of my family that I began to see the beauty in exploring a foreign place, especially one on the other side of the world. I loved every day down there.
I graduated from Dartmouth College and headed straight for office life, working as a Data Analyst for an advertising agency. I loved the people I worked with and learned a lot, but the constant routine and the static lifestyle began to cripple my sense of adventure and my curiosity for life. I needed to find my sense of joy toward life again, a sense of meaning and purpose. So I quit. I packed my bag and moved to Sonoma, California to work on a vineyard for the grape harvest. Finally, I was on my feet every day, using my hands to create something that people would enjoy. It was one of the most difficult and overall physically demanding jobs I’ve ever had – working 12 hour days, 6 days a week – but it was pure satisfaction come days end. I found myself sleeping a strong 8 hours, waking up rested, feeling excited to jump from my covers in the morning and land on my feet. I learned about the wine industry, joined a family business who became a family to me, and grew personally in ways I always saw myself to be.
At harvests end, I packed my bag, bought a one-way ticket to Hawaii, and began my journey around the world as a wide-eyed kid full of curiosity but with little understanding of what to expect – the logistics of traveling, the exhaustion of a life constantly on the move, and the dangers that exist, both from people and nature. I left for 15 months, exploring 30 countries, experiencing cultures I’d only read about, pushing myself through new challenges I never thought I’d have the courage to face, and feeling the extreme emotions: fear for my life, love for my friends, tears when times were truly tough, and, that most important emotion, curiosity. With this interest in other people’s lives, I wanted to understand their hopes and dreams, their happy moments, the adversity they’ve endured, their language, their food, and their community. I felt as if I belonged in every country I visited. I felt a yearning to learn as much as I could from the people I met, to make as many friends as possible, to enjoy every day, and to fill each one with true emotion, the type that causes your body to react.
The intensity with which I lived all these experiences was partly because of the excitement for the trip, the newness and freedom. However, there’s often some kind of wake-up call that causes a shift in your mindset and brings your joy and appreciation to a deeper level you had never reached before. For me, this moment happened at the very beginning of my trip, in Hawaii.
After island hopping for three weeks, we landed on Oahu, excited to explore the vast mountains in the central part of the island. One hike stuck out the most to us, the Ka’au Crater Trail, a rugged hike up waterfalls and through rainforests, which is extremely susceptible to rapid change in weather. Of course, as young and inexperienced travelers, we did little research before heading out on the unmaintained trail.
The path narrowed considerably as we made our way up toward the summit. Honolulu stuck out far off in the distance. We arrived at the top after a grueling three hour hike and decided to continue along the ridgeline, seeing a tapering trail running along the rim of the mountain. As we embarked along the ridge, the trail disappeared. We became stuck on the mountain’s edge, soaked in slippery mud, unable to climb back up to the summit we had come from. Our only option was to continue down toward the valley, sliding ever so slowly on our behinds along a knife edge, hoping to find a trail out.
So, we decided to bushwhack in the direction of Honolulu, hoping we would find our way out. For two hours we slid down 10 foot waterfalls, waded through pools of water with our packs above our heads, scraped, cut, and tore up our legs and clothes. In the back of my mind I was always worried about becoming lost. Neither of us had spoken in two hours when we came upon a pool of water trickling over an edge. I peered over to see how far down it went and my heart sank.
Jimmy decided he wasn’t going to give up and said we should attempt to rock-climb down. After analyzing the climb, I agreed it did not look too dangerous and was feasible if we moved slowly. So I lowered my body over the edge, fear rising rapidly from inside. My boots dug deep into the sidewall while my hands gripped at strands of grass, holding me vertical to the wall. Jimmy watched closely from above. Rain had been falling for hours, leaving the rocks slick. Suddenly, my feet slipped from their position. I flailed trying to find footholds again. My body began sliding slowly down toward the jagged rocks lying two hundred feet below. I panicked. The strands of grass in my hands ripped one-by-one until my body’s momentum pulled every last strand out of the ground. I screamed for Jimmy.
As I felt my body slip and begin the two hundred foot fall, Jimmy’s hand wrapped around my wrist and my momentum came to a jutting halt. I slammed against the wall and then Jimmy slowly dragged me up over the edge to safety. We both sat in the pool of water, drenched from the rain, unable to speak, realizing how drastic a mistake we’d made.
We phoned the police (thankful to have one bar of service) and they sent a helicopter to rescue us. Once safely back on flat earth, we thanked our rescuers and headed to get dinner. We talked for a while that night about what the rest of our trip would look like. We were less than one month into a 15-month journey around the world, and we had yet to even leave the country. Our list of future places included adventures through Southeast Asia, trekking in Nepal, journeying through the vast deserts in Jordan, and so much more. I felt only fear that night. “Could I continue on after a near-death experience like that?” I had to. I couldn’t let that fear control my life. I set out with a goal of exploring the world, to face challenges unlike any I’d experienced before, and learn about who I was as a person, but most importantly, I wanted to understand the different cultures around the world and meet the people to see what they had to teach me.
Conquering such intense fear showed me I could accomplish anything if I put my mind to it. Nothing seemed too difficult anymore, or too out of reach. I survived a near-death experience, of course because Jimmy was there to save my life, but beyond that moment itself, I matured. Life seemed simpler, and I wanted to soak up every day I had in this world. I am not sure where I would be if I never ventured to Hawaii. It’s uncertain whether or not I would have had the confidence to pursue photography in a year like 2020, in an industry I knew nothing about, and with no experience or any existing skills.
I loved showing people photos and seeing the same emotions in their eyes that I felt in the moment when shooting the scene. I knew it was something I wanted to pursue. I ended up moving to Jackson Hole to be closer to the mountains. Since then I have been going on road trips across the country as far as the current circumstances allowed, always trying to capture the moment. I have found a sense of purpose or at least that constant feeling of joy in my life. And I will continue to pursue that feeling every day of my life forward.
I lost grip with my curiosity, my desire for adventure, and eagerness to learn everything about life. As I pursue photography, extreme emotions flood my system every day. Extreme emotions are ones that affect your body, the way you cry from sadness, smile uncontrollably from joy, and shake with fear. Emotions that push you to react. Emotions that tell you to not be complacent. For me, these are the emotions I seek to feel every day, even if the emotion is extreme fear, because that is when I feel most alive, when I can’t control my body’s reactions.
Listening and embracing these emotions and body reactions is something beautiful and very interesting. When I begin feeling anxious about work or feel uninspired, I always go outside into nature. Typically alone. I remove myself from whatever is causing stress and find a new environment to seek inspiration and try my best to appreciate the moment. I allow my curiosity to run wild and look at every moment passing as an opportunity to capture a different mood. These are the moments that excite me the most because it is the uncertainty of the situation that fuels my curiosity and keeps me stuck in whatever moment I’m trying to capture.
It means to be aware of your surroundings; listening to the sounds, noticing the movement of your body with every inhale and exhale, watching the weather subtly change, and so much more. An awareness of all your senses that allows you to truly appreciate the place you are in. No distractions, it’s just the moment that consumes you. That’s where your body begins to react to the emotions you feel. The heart slows, muscles begin to relax, the mind calms. It is as if being in a meditative state. These moments of “taking it all in” is what I seek every day, regardless of the scale of adventure. There were constant moments along my travels where I sought this level of awareness.
Both experiences were impactful in unique ways. What made Nepal so special was the few days before trekking to basecamp; two friends and myself lived with our guide, Sokol, in his remote village. The town is nestled along the edge of the Himalayas with terraces cascading down to the valley floor. We spent three days living with Sokol, helping him prepare food, learning of the town’s unique culture, and how they’ve worked to build up the necessary infrastructure like toilets and roads. Sokol welcomed us into his home, introduced us to his family and opened up to us about his life growing up in the rugged Himalayas. I learned a lot from Sokol: how to be grateful for what I have, where I grew up, and how I have a family that loves me. Sokol showed me how to be patient and how to be genuinely kind. People along our trek gravitated toward Sokol, seeking his advice and guidance or merely his friendship.
It was such a moving experience, to learn directly from these individuals was a privilege, one that shaped all of my future travel. I wanted to engrain myself in the local communities of each place I visited next, no longer concerning myself with the main tourist attractions, but trying to move off the beaten path, hoping to find a local town and connect with the people. They opened my eyes to how educational travel can be. How much we can learn from each other by merely listening.
I hope to improve as a visual storyteller by traveling and meeting people. My goal is to really capture emotions in my photos, ones that glisten in the eyes of whoever glances at an image I’ve taken. I’ve always loved telling my stories and listening to others tell theirs. That’s what I love most about photography, and the best part about this goal is that in order to improve on this I need to continue to seek adventure, continue to seek discomfort in my life, throw myself into uncertain situations, and keep my camera close by.
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